As I have been promising, the theme for this month is simply some comic relief at my expense. I’m taking a break from nutrition and fitness education and sharing some of the crazy things that have happened to me this Spring as we are wrapping up the school year. I hope a good laugh helps you get through your busy days this month. Here is my first “Mom-Life in May” story for you:
This Spring, I will be single-parenting most of my boys’ soccer games while my husband is either traveling for work or attending the final days of class for his MBA. A very wet and windy storm rolled into Utah County a couple hours before my 9-year-old son’s game and I assumed it would be cancelled once the league reps arrived at the field and saw the wind and pouring rain. Seriously, we were getting 30 mile-an-hour wind gusts at home, so no way were we going to play in this weather. Thus, I didn’t prepare my kids very well before we left the house. (That was my first mistake.) Before we could leave for the game, I had to pick my girls up straight from dance rehearsal, so they were still in their leotards. My youngest son had no shoes, because the original plan was to drop him at home with my girls while I brought the baby with me to the game. As is usually the case, we were running late, and my only choice now was to take everyone along as they were. It was fine, because we were just going to talk to the other team and reschedule this game. Or so I thought. When we arrived at the field, the weather was quite a bit more mild than it was at home, and the game did indeed play on.
Plan B was to now have my 10.5 year old daughter, babysit her younger siblings in the van parked close to the field while I endured the 60-minute soccer game in the drizzling rain. A few minutes after I left them in the van, the baby had a blow-out diaper which required my daughter to remove his messy onesie and give him a change of clothes to a pair of sweats and his jacket, you know, whatever we had in the diaper bag… Then, my four year old needed to go to the bathroom. He was shoe-less (remember how we originally weren’t even going to bring him along to the game?), but needed to go badly enough that he started towards the school. Realizing all the doors were locked, he came back to the van where my daughter told him to go find a bush like she saw another boy doing. Instead of finding a bush, he just dropped his drawers and peed on the sidewalk in front of the car where everyone could see. (Because, that’s what you do when you are a little boy, right?)
Meanwhile, the rain was starting to pick up, and I was on the sidelines, under my umbrella, jogging in place trying to keep warm as I cheered my son on in his game. It was getting bad enough that the team started to huddle under MY umbrella when they substituted out of the game. There were literally no other moms on the sideline. They all sent their husbands to endure THIS game. Lucky. I went back to the van to get more umbrellas to share with the other parents on the sidelines (because they’re dads, and I don’t mean to sound demeaning here, but, naturally they didn’t think to bring umbrellas). This is where I learned of the messy diaper issue, but my daughter assured me she could still handle the three kids. I returned to the field for the last half of the game, but after about 10 minutes, I saw all three kids trudging out to the field looking for me.
The baby needed me to nurse him, and my daughter couldn’t console him alone. So now we have my eldest in her leotard and hoodie, barefoot, carrying my baby who is wearing undersized sweats and a jacket, shielding him from the now TORRENTIAL rain with just a blanket. My 6-year-old is marching behind her wearing her leotard and her sister’s sandals, with just a jacket to shield her from the pouring rain. Barefooted with no coat at all, my 4-year old son came skipping behind her, having the time of his life dancing in the muddy puddles. In sheer horror, I immediately dropped my umbrella in the hands of the teammates on the sidelines and ran to shoo everyone back in the van. Needless to say, that’s where we sat out the remainder of the game.
I (SO) wish I could have captured this moment with a great photo. It would be printed on a canvas and neatly hung over my fireplace mantle as a representation of what motherhood has looked like for me this Spring.